I am avid fan of all things related to the Theology of the Body and true Sexual Freedom. I plan on writing many posts that deal with this subject. This is the first of those many.
I recently spent a lot of time re-reading some books on the teachings of the Theology the Body in preparation for a talk I gave to high school students. Learning this great teaching the first time was quite a blessing for me. How I wish I had been taught these teachings about sex when I was younger. It makes so much sense, and the thought process is rational from beginning to end.
It is unbelievable the differences in how I looked at relationships even six years ago versus how I look at relationships now. For example, the point where I thought it was prudent to draw the line in my relationship at that time is much different from the point I think it is prudent to draw the line now.
While researching, I found some quotes by Jason Evert and Christopher West that, when put together, I believe truly explain my new understanding of the ideal relationship, embracing our sexuality, and how a man should treat his girlfriend in dealing with those little physical signs of affection. Yes, I realize I am quote dropping, but I believe that each of these men would agree with the final product set forth below. Moreover, the creator of the Theology of the Body, Pope John Paul II, would also agree with these sentiments. Let me always honor a woman in helping her to guard her heart.
A dating couple is not crossing the line of physical behaviors by holding hands or even kissing. But if a dating couple is holding hands or kissing merely because "it feels good" and not because they want to say what these expressions mean, they've crossed the line in their heart. At a minimum, these behaviors should mean, "I respect you deeply as a person, I have tender affection for you, and I want to speak to you of your goodness." . . . They should be expressions of a disinterested desire to affirm the other person for his or her own sake. [All actions should be made with a desire to "will the good" of the other . . . never simply to make them an object of your use].
Let me strive to always live my dating relationships according to this quote so that I can embody the personalistic norm and prevent a desire "to use" the other from creeping into my relationships.
I am so glad for the opportunity to re-read some of these books in order to prepare for the lecture I gave to the teens. May God open their eyes as He opened mine.
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