Locked In

Have you ever been locked out of Church? I have, it is frustrating. This morning was a first for me in another department: I was locked in Church.

Before you start making assumptions about my IQ, let me explain. After Mass at Holy Family this morning I went over to the adoration chapel to begin adoration. Then I slipped out the door to to head back to the bathroom which is located in the vestibule at the front of the Church. When I came out, I noticed that all of the lights in the Church were turned off. I checked the front doors (which are rarely used for daily Mass) and noticed that someone had placed locked bars on each door in order to keep people from getting in. They also have the counter-effect of keeping people from getting out.

Not thinking about it too much, I reentered the Church with the intention to exit by the Adoration Chapel. Unbeknown to me, someone had also locked both of the gates between the Church and the adoration chapel/outside doors. I looked around with bewilderment. There had to be an unlocked door somewhere! right? But no.

I laughed a little, thinking about how original it was that I was locked inside a Church. Then I thought (God knows why) about what would happen if the building caught on fire? I would be burned alive! I started having an argument in my mind of where would be the best place to have my body found if that would occur. Should I lay myself on the altar, as an offering or sacrifice, or should I go hug the tabernacle as to be as close to our Lord as possible when I die? I The other option would be to try and escape. But in that case, my body would most likely be found clinging to an exit door as I tried to force it open. Not nearly as heroic.

Luckily, the building did not burn down while I was in there. I started looking at every door to make sure it was not locked. Eventually I came to a door marked "parish workers and volunteers only." I figured that by being locked alone in the Church for 15 mins, I was as close to a "volunteer" as anyone. So I knocked on the door. The door was opened and I found myself face to face with the Pastor. He was quite surprised to see me in the Church which he knew was locked. When I told him I had been locked in the Church and there was no way out, a big grin came across his face. He must have thought I was an idiot.

I guess I had found a back door to the parish office. Father invited me in and showed me a door to the outside world. This door, of course, was also locked. But it was one I was able to unlock from the inside. I threw it open and was free once more to breathe the fresh air and attend Mass another day.